We are getting ready to sell our unwanted shed, and, not wanting to do anything simply, we decided to "clear it out" last night. By "clearing it out" I mean that we spent hours taking out the old floor and uncovered a great unholy lot of things, dead and alive, in the progress. Mr. House donned his best gloves and dust mask and ripped out the plywood floor, not finishing until well after the sun went down. I was lucky enough to avoid the task by taking care of the young Master House instead. We would come out to check on the progress and Mr. House would just hold up fingers to me, keeping a running count off all he encountered.
This little game inspired me to write a song.
Ahem . . .
(To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")
The First thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Was a live rat looking at me*
The Second thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Third thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Fourth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Fifth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Sixth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Seventh thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Eighth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Eight black widows
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Ninth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Nine layers of crap
Eight black widows
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Tenth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Ten kinds of spiders
Nine layers of crap
Eight black widows
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Eleventh thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Eleven-thousand termites
Ten kinds of spiders
Nine layers of crap
Eight black widows
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
The Twelfth thing we found
When we were cleaning out the shed
Twelve rotten boards
Eleven-thousand termites
Ten kinds of spiders
Nine layers of crap
Eight black widows
Seven rusty nails
Six feet of web
FIVE RAT MUMMIES!
Four wasp nests
Three rat nests
Two Shelobs
And a live rat looking at me
* Mr. Houses exact words were "A rat just looked at me" . . . which is actually pretty funny when you think about it.
